Jealousy looks terrible on everyone but still, somehow, we can’t seem to get rid of it. Someone who says that they have never felt jealous of anyone or anything in the entire life that they’ve lived is a liar. Yes, that’s true.
We are either discontent with what we have and in the process of wanting more, we grow jealous of someone else’s possessions. Or often times, the case is that we fear if someone else is eyeing on our possession-whether it is someone we love or something of material value that we treasure.
We here are referring to the heart-wrenching feeling of jealousy that most of us have an encounter with while we are in a relationship with someone.
Dear readers, if you have found yourself in a ridiculously relatable situation as I mentioned earlier and are wondering about how to deal with jealousy in your relationship, then you are in the right place. This article is for you.
Ergo, without any delay, let’s take a reading of my list of 10 points that shall give you an answering to every question that has been flooding your mind for a while now. Let’s begin!
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1. Try to Stand in Their Shoes
How to stop being envious of others?
Jealousy in a relationship is most often an indication of insecurity breeding in the heart and mind of either of the partners.
If you have come into believing that your relationship has fallen prey to issues related to jealousy, then you might as well want to seek for a solution.
I assure you that this solution shall never be a disappointment. Trying to place yourself in someone else’s place gives you near about an accurate picture of almost everything.
If you are jealous that he talked to a girl rather nicely and you took it as flirting, then probably, you should do some thinking again. It may be that he is just putting on some decent etiquettes because he is well-mannered.
Well, let’s not be conservative enough to believe that tiny actions of niceties imply that one is flirting. That’s not the case most of the times. If everyone started talking and behaving rudely to one another except, of course, for their respective partners, then the entirety of humanity would sink deep beneath the ocean bed of no-man’s-land. Don’t you think?
2. Communication Is the Key
Have you been constantly questioning to yourself saying, “Why am I so jealous and insecure?” Have you thought of enchanting prayers for overcoming jealousy?
Well, your mind has the caliber of driving you crazy. It makes you think of all the crazy things whose occurrence is highly unlikely. And at the end of the day, what will you have been worrying about? Well, NOTHING!
So, it might just as well be the case with your relationship. If something that your partner has done or been doing- whether it be the way he talks to his female co-workers or someone else for that matter, or the increasing number of text messages, you ought to and are well deserving of asking him about what’s actually going on.
In that way, instead of jumping to all the false hypothesis as conclusions, you will get a clear answer.
I say, ask away!
3. Stop Comparing Yourself with Others
How to deal with envy? Sometimes, all you need to do is introspect.
Have you really given a thought to it that maybe the jealousy that’s slowing consuming you in the inside is actually a result of your low self-esteem?
Do you feel intimidated whilst you are around his co-workers or female friends? Do you think they are pretty but you are not? Or is something about them extraordinarily attractive and you feel as if you are void of it?
Welcome to your moment of enlightenment. The problem isn’t with him. It lies in your head. You are so good at devaluing yourself that you think as if something else might have the same opinion of you as you do about yourself.
You should love yourself. You know what? You are beautiful. Shine that beauty with confidence. There must be a reason that he’s with you and not any of those girls that you are jealous about.
Trust him and trust yourself, and all shall be okay!
4. Use Your Imagination Positively
Why do we feel jealous in love?
The answer is quite simple and not as complicated as the weave of thoughts that occupy about 70% of our mind. That’s my own statistics, of course!
Anyways, talking about thoughts, someone I know told me that the human mind doesn’t want to settle on the negative side. If negativity was what the universe wanted us to think and feel, then we might have settled with our negativity but that’s never the case.
We feel dissatisfied and anxious when we think about negative things. That’s because the universe wants us all to strive towards positivity.
So, why not serve our imagination and think of the most insanely positive things? Not only shall it improve your relationship but it will also give you a sense of serenity and calmness.
Alex Turner once said, “Use your imagination.” Well, do that but use it positively.
5. Don’t Play Games
Have you been victimised by the feeling of intense jealousy in your relationship? Have you been trying hard to find the appropriate solutions to get rid of such feeling and nothing has worked until now?
Well, I think that you have been doing the wrong things all throughout your quest of finding a solution. If you’ve been playing games in return, then you’re doing it all wrong. That’s what I can say with absolute certainty.
If you think that talking about your past relationships or about some attractive men you came across with somewhere would make your partner get the taste of his own medicine, you might want to reconsider your decision.
Pulling off such an act will not only demean your image in the eyes of your partner but the chances of it putting your entire relationship at stake are pretty high.
So, take a step back if you are planning to play your game, only if you don’t want to end up being a loser!
6. Allow Them to Have a Little Space
Are you wondering how to work through jealousy? I think I might have some valuable advice.
Being in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean that you own them and every fraction of second of their time. It never means that you are righteous enough to shove your opinion down their throat, or that they have to nod their head in agreement to whatever you might have to say.
Do you remember the song, “ You don’t own me”? The soundtrack of Suicide Squad? That song somehow is relatable here.
Well, cutting straight to the chase, all I mean to say is that you should let them be the person that they were before you got into a relationship with them. Allow them to spend some time with their friends and family. Let them talk to their female co-workers.
Humans are social beings and we are supposed to socialise in order to exist in the society that we live in. We are required to form a network. We can’t spend our entire life to stick to one person all the time and acting as if no one else exists.
It would be unfair and downright brutal of you to ask them to spend all his time with you. You need to get over that thought, sooner the better!
7. Have Faith in Your Partner
Managing jealousy and envy in your relationship might sound as some task that requires some arduous efforts, but that’s not the real case.
Since you are already in a relationship, why do you feel the need to be jealous of someone else while your partner talks to them? Why do you even consider spending so much of nervous energy in being jealous of someone when you don’t have anything to be jealous about.
Your partner has chosen you amongst a pool of other girls. Don’t you think he deserves to be trusted?
Having faith in your partner is one of the most crucial fundamentals of any relationship. If you fail to have faith, your relationship might also turn out to be a major failure. Beware!
8. Face Your Fears
Why do we feel jealous in love? Maybe because we fear the uncertain. They say no fear is irrational but most of the things that we fear is an outcome of the negativity breeding in our mind.
Most of the times, the only way out of the fear is facing it. Who knows what might be in store? Maybe there is nothing to fear about at all.
Do you want a way out? Well, hanging out with him as often as you can is the ultimate way out. In that way, you can find if something fishy is going on behind your back and then take actions accordingly.
9. Turn Your Jealousy into Flattery
How to work through jealousy in your relationship? There’s a well-sorted technique to turn the vibes of jealousy into the art of flattery.
Instead of feeling jealous, you should try to compliment someone who makes you feel insecure. Insecurity is unattractive and it might push your partner away if you overdo it.
If you pass some compliment about someone else, your partner might actually be impressed and the attraction quotient between the two of you might range higher in the attraction meter.
Try it out and let me know how it works out.
10. Seek Therapy
How to get rid of jealousy if everything else fails? Is that the question you’ve arrived to after several trials and disheartening failures?
If you don’t seem to be able to solve the enigma brought about by the irrational feelings, then you don’t have to hesitate to rely on professional help.
Things might deter when it’s too late. I’d recommend you to join a therapy group or maybe a one-on-one session with a therapist as per your requirement, to solve the problem right from its root.
Every relationship comes with a fair share of turmoils. It’s success or failure entirely depends on the level of emotional investment from both the counterparts and whether or not they handle the situation logically.
If jealousy in a relationship is what you’re dealing with, I hope you get through this phase as soon as possible.
May your relationship continue to foster!