If you’re regular to this blog, you might have come across the sentence “As a write this, I remember..” in most of my articles. Maybe that’s what makes me a writer. My mind is always wondering, interweaved in thoughts and there’s always one thing or another that strike a resemblance to the subject matter of my article.
So, here we are. As a write this, I remember Sam Black from the X Factor(UK) 2017, who is a contender in the Boys category. He has a child, Mason, with his fiancee who he proposed in the X Factor stage. Boy, was it romantic!
All I can see in his eyes is boundless love for his fiancee. Trust me, there are several Sam Blacks in the world we live in. Do you think the pregnancy has destroyed your relationship? Do you ever wonder if having a baby implies that your relationship is heading towards a rough patch? Not really! How so? Well, Sam Black just proved it. And in case you want to see it with your own two little eyes, go watch the show.
Anyways, all I have to say is that the sanctity of a relationship isn’t something that would last forever unless efforts are made from the parties at both ends. That’s what I’ve been reiterating since ages. But somehow, these words fall on deaf ears more often than not. Well, if anything, having a baby further strengthens the bond amongst the parents. People should figure it out by virtue of their common sense. It’s that simple a concept.
I often practice what I preach but whilst presenting my side of the argument for this matter, I’m taking a huge leap of faith. Yes, I am single. No, I’ve never been married. No, I don’t have a child. But if you are in a relationship and have a baby together, bravo! You’ve started your own little family. You are the father and the mother of that little thing that clenches its fist against your fingers with the eternal hope that you’ll give it a sense of direction and shine a light of love in its life till the end of time.
We live in a modern-day world where we have access to almost everything except for money- well, it doesn’t grow on trees, does it? I’ve been looking for the money tree since forever but I’ve been damned because of failing miserably in its search. Ha! But most of the health institutions offer consultations on family planning for a minimal amount or even without having to bear any cost. Hurrah!
First off, if you don’t plan on having a baby right at the advent of a relationship then be smart enough to take such consultations and adopt the appropriate measures. Don’t make babies in the heat of the moment for God’s sake. Have a grasp of your hormones! Use contraceptives if you want to prevent a mishap. I feel like a sex education teacher in primary school but if it saves people from unwanted pregnancies then what the hell?
Babies are beautiful. They are blessed with a life upon birth. If you’re not ready to have them then simply don’t! They’re too precious to be labeled as a “mistake”.
Now those were the don’ts. Let’s move onto the Dos.
Now, I present to you another case scenario which you most likely are in.
You thought the idea of having a baby was a fantastic idea and you felt more ready than ever to start a family with your girlfriend/wife or a partner(in case you have adopted a baby).
The thoughts of not finding your wife attractive anymore because of the pregnancy weight might have driven some of you nuts (which is absolutely horrendous and I’ll be giving you a piece of my mind on it in a tad bit. On top of that, the sleep-deprived zombie state which you might have been going through because of the crying baby must have made you come to a conclusion that the doltish stranger has robbed your life from you.
First things first. About finding your wife unattractive because of the baby-weight, well, you are superficial and shallow. Do you know the threshold of pain that the human body can go through? Your girlfriend/wife crossed the threshold and went through the most dreaded pain of the “womankind” just to have your baby. And yuh huh(in Ross’s voice from Friends), the labor pain is much beyond the threshold! And you there sit there complaining about her weight? What kind of a jackass does that make you? Set your values straight, mister or get ready to face the backlash from all the women you’ve known.
Secondly, I understand that having a baby means lots of sleepless nights and constant chaos because of the constant trouble you go through whilst having to manage time to babysit. But it nowhere means that there needs to be a trouble in your paradise. No, certainly not!
So, how do you know if your relationship is worth fighting for? YOU HAVE A BABY, you dork! Isn’t that enough of a reason?
Now here are the solutions. For the problems of scheduling the babysitting sessions, you could work on coming to a proper plan to babysit that fits around your work schedule. And if the both of you are ridiculously busy, then you can hire a nanny( or a “manny”!). That will give you plenty of time to work on yourself, work on your relationship, go out on dates on a weekly basis whilst still enjoying the blessing of having a baby and adding on a branch to your family tree.
I understand that you undergo a lot of marital stress during pregnancy and thereafter. However, you can’t overlook the fact that there are thousands of childless couples who would trade places with you without giving a second thought to it. Your complaint is someone’s most desired wish. Don’t whine unnecessarily. You have it all. A partner who was willing to share a life with you; a baby who brings the wholesome of joys in your life. You really have got nothing to lose. Just work on it and the goodness will unfold itself in bits and traces. The hassle is worth it!
And most importantly, congratulations! I’m sending my love and blessings to your beautiful newborn from million miles away. Blessed be!