Attempting to catch a liar or suspecting someone to be one is much of a tricky task, because a) they might be innocent and if that be the case, it might eventually result in a huge row, b) if you turn a blind-eye at their nonsensically shady moves, you might be perceived to be naive.
For how long has the question of “Is my boyfriend lying to me?” or “Why is he acting as if he’s hiding something from me” been popping up in your head?
Lying to someone you love is quite deceitful. Sometimes, things might have escalated to such an extent that lies would have been told repeatedly and since much longer than one can even remember. In that case, it’s inevitable for the relationships to go through a rough patch and then fall off completely.
Are you still wondering if he is lying to you? If so, I offer you 10 simple tricks on uncovering the truth of whether he is actually telling a lie or not. Remember, these tricks work from a person who doesn’t have an expertise in lying to someone who is a compulsive liar.
Here goes the list:
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1. He’s not acting like himself
Do you know why he’s been acting estranged lately? It could either be because of some work or academic stress or plainly because he’s lying and is afraid of getting caught.
What else could cause a perky guy to suddenly turn into a secretive mode? Think about it.
2. He doesn’t look you in the eye
If you are suspicious of him lying about something, ask him about it straight-away. If he looks you in the eyes and denies it, he might be telling the truth.
However, if he flinches or looks elsewhere while discussing the subject manner, he probably is lying.
3. Notice the plot change
It’s difficult to hold on to a lie because to cover up one lie, a thousand more lies need to be told.
If you think he’s lying, ask him about something that you are suspicious of. Pay a close attention to the details. Repeat the same question after some time has passed. If the details match, then no, he’s not lying. But if the details are materially different, then something’s fishing for sure.
4. He gets overly defensive
Does he get overly defensive when you accuse him of lying?
It’s a natural tendency to defend about one’s honesty when someone accuses off of a trivial lie.
However, if it’s a gigantic wave of a lie, then mark my words, he will get panicky every now and then when he is accused of doing so. Do look for the signs and you will know better.
5. Long pauses
This is one of the sure-shot tricks.
Does he take long pauses before answering your question?
If yes, then it’s his tactic of trying to come up with a reasonably convincing excuse.
But if he answers in no time, you probably have nothing to worry about. Even so, if you are still suspicious, feel free to go through the rest of the signs.
6. He accuses you of lying
Does he try to shift the blame by accusing you of lying instead?
It could either be that he is trying to distract you or that he feels bad because he lied to you and just to feel a little better, he tries to satisfy his ailing soul by accusing you of breaking his heart.
7. You aren’t given any detail
Let’s assume that your boyfriend told you that he was going to hang-out with his friends for a couple of hours or more. But he used that as an excuse for going out on a date or making out with some other girl. When you ask for the details of the day, what do you think he’ll have to tell you?
You’ll be given a lot of “I don’t remember” and “I forgot what actually happened” or a simple “ I don’t know”.
What detail do you expect him to give you when he is lying? If he makes something up, chances are that he will get caught. So, such answers will make him land on a relatively safer side.
8. He freaks out if you touch his phone
There is a code of privacy that shouldn’t be breached even when you are in a relationship with someone. Nobody likes it when someone’s going through the stuff on their phone. It’s 100 % natural. If someone wouldn’t want someone else to use their phone without their permission, a simple “Please don’t use it without asking me.” would suffice and there’s no need to be weirded out about it unless, of course, you’re lying.
See how he reacts when you touch his phone or talk about using it for making a phone call or so. If it appears as if he is deleting something before handing it over to you, then LIAR DETECTED!
9. He is a compulsive liar
He’s lied to you millions of lies before. How could this case be any different?
There’s a pattern that each story follows which goes back to the history of your relationship. Observe the patterns. If things are happening in a slightly different way than the stories which he has told you earlier, then he might be trying to twist and turn the plot to make it appear to be convincing. Watch out!
10. Your intuitions tell you so
You know him better than anyone else does.
If you have an inner feeling in your gut that you are being deceived, then he probably is guilty of doing so. Even if he did, your gut wouldn’t lie to you.
Introspect and listen to your gut feelings, and act accordingly.
I would want to extend my empathy to you if your boyfriend turns out to be a liar. If you think he’s worthy of a chance, award him with one.
If, however, you decide to part ways, then trust me, you’ll be fine after a while.
After all, life has much more to offer than a lying boyfriend. Cheer up!