Are you a teen and wishing upon a star if someone could give you some serious dating advice? Consider your wish granted. This article is for you!
I stumbled upon a post on Quora Digest the other day. An anonymous user had posed a question to the fellow Quora members about the advice they’d give to their 20-year-old self. It was much of an eye-opener for me. In fact, it took me down the memory lane and reminded me of the fair share of mistakes I’d made then.
Everyone makes mistakes and if they don’t, it’d simply imply that they are not living their life fully and exploring enough of the options, and the risks that come along during the voyage.
Being a part of a conservative society added to the pile of the problems in my dating life. My mind would place forth a series of questions to me and all my answers were left either unanswered or answered with vagueness.
My life revolved around the abysmal depth of doubts and confusions. There was no one I could look up to for a word of advice. Amidst the process of not wanting to reflect upon my thoughts or ask for a piece of advice from the trusted beings around me, I ended up unlocking the doors to making several mistakes.
If I could turn back time, I’d rectify all of the errors and clean the stained spots. But fortunately or unfortunately, that’s not how it works. My mistakes were made for myself. They shaped me into the person I am today- strong, courageous and elegant.
If there’s one thing that can be done about the mistakes, it’s learning from them. It wasn’t long before that I decided to stop beating myself about my misconducts but instead giving back to the Universe, the wholesome of goodness that it deserves. Saving someone who is on the verge of making the same mistake would be an act of contrition. That’s what I practice and preach.
Today, I’d like to utilise this platform to impart some knowledge and the know-hows on dating.
Dear teens, you are young, wild and free. You are much wiser than you believe to be. But sometimes, you swerve in the wrong direction. Crush, infatuation, love, and attraction are quite normal of the feelings to explore during this age.
But often times, due to lack of sheer knowledge and advice, we end of making the wrong choices that keep us awake at nights during the post-teen era.
Keep your worries at bay for I’m here with a list of 10 dating advice that will keep you from boarding on the wrong ship.
Let’s see where this ship is sailing to. Here we go!
Table of Contents (Quick Navigation)
1. Respect Your Partner
Having a sense of respect for one another is one of the essential prerequisites of a relationship. Drooling over the looks might seem to be quite tempting for a time being but the spark will gradually fade away if you fail to respect them.
Respecting someone includes allowing them to take an ample amount of space for themselves, respecting their choices and life-goals.
Put on a nice behavior and treat them as good as you can, both when spending some quality time with them or going out and about in public with them. The general principle of humans is that if they don’t feel
respected, they leave. Don’t let that happen.
After all, it’s not much of a strenuous deed to pay a little respect to someone you love, or is it?
2. Be Upbeat and Positive
Positivity takes you to places. It’s like a magnet that makes people hover around you. Everyone prefers being around someone who shares a vibe of optimism. An optimistic approach to life is both inspiring and motivational. You can be a Knight in the Shining Armor for someone in distress.
On top of it all, you’ll be happy at heart. Happiness opens a door to a countless number of other moments of happiness. The universe believes in the “give and take” mechanism. If you exude the aura of happiness, you’ll be bestowed upon with several other folds of ineffable joys.
Setting you up with another positive and lively human being might just be one of the ways the universe could give back to you. Who knows? *winky-face*
3. Love Yourself
Dear person reading this, please love yourself. You might not want to grant a wish coming from someone from some unknown side of the world but the only person who’d be benefited from this is YOU. We suffer from anxiety, depression and several other issues as we march forward in the journey of life. One of the reasons behind our suffering is the absence of self-love.
Self-love is like a magnet. People get drawn towards you. They’ll feel the vibes of love when they are in your close vicinity. You’ll feel happier that way. To love, be loved and give love is an act of divinity.
There is a high likeliness of a potential partner being attracted towards you if they see how you pamper yourself. Next thing you know, you might start a relationship with them. Sounds intriguing and exciting, doesn’t it?
Practice, preach and give love, you angel, you!
4. Stick to Your Principles
Are you battling the teenage relationship questions? I suggest you to first gain clarity in your mindset.
When I was a teen, I changed my opinion at the flicker of a second if someone else had a different opinion than mine. I had insecurities and I thought I always made a wrong choice. I felt the need to change my perspective on nearly everything just because the people around me presented the contradictory points.
To add to it, coming from a non-English speaking country, it was hard to develop a British accent. That’s what I always fancied but people mocked me for speaking differently than them.
I thought I was doing the wrong thing but God helped me then and I refrained from paving the way backward. Now I know, the British accent is the coolest thing ever. So, who’s having the last laugh?
When I made a move keeping my principles aside, I felt miserable in the inside. I always wanted to lead, not follow. I was far behind in the line when I was your age. Maybe it came off as a major turn-off for people that no one seemed to be interested in me.
I live in a different world now. I am the leader, I don’t let anyone indoctrinate their opinions on me. I live my life the way I want to. And that somehow has been a guy-magnet.
I wish someone had advised me earlier. But I can’t travel back in time. What I can do is enlighten you. Be the leader. Stick to your principles and only make amendments when YOU feel the need to. No one else’s opinion matters as much as yours does. It not only is a sure-shot formula for happiness but also, a way to make people attracted towards you.
Love might just be hiding in some corner. Let it come out!
5. Learn More about Him
Love is something that doesn’t happen in a fraction of a second. It starts with attraction, crushes and then marches its way forth slowly and gradually.
Have you ever wondered about how your mind melts away in the nothingness and all you can remember is the face of the person who you have a crush on?
Or are you in the zone where you are unaware of the kind of a person he is or what his behavioral traits are like? He could be egoistic, boastful and might practice all the things that fall in the category of your “pet-peeves”?
If all you know about him is his face, then, you, my friend are merely “stargazing”.
Eventually, the fondness will disappear and you’ll be totally clueless about what you fell for.
In order to prevent being a prey to such situations, know him better and delve into your thoughts to discover if you really love him.
6. Be Faithful and Trustworthy
Nothing can explain faith and trust better than the faith we have in the supremacy of the higher power. We surrender ourselves to our higher self or say, the spiritual guide, because deep down in our heart, we know that we’ll never be betrayed or harmed.
Trust and faith are the building blocks of any relationship. Be the one upon whom someone can rely. Don’t let anyone down, starting with yourself.
Sometimes, a downpour of even a tad bit of trust and faith establishes heavenly connections. Allow yourself to be in one, but first and foremost, be the one to spread the magic of trustworthiness and faithfulness.
7. Plan the Dates
I absolutely loathe plans that are made out of the blue.
I remember an incident where a guy who I had been seeing for a while then asked me out on a random day at a random hour. At a random place? Oh, yes!
He said he had plans but we spent some 30 minutes or so in the alleys of the road discussing what a fun date would be like.
I was totally thrown off-guard by his reckless demeanor. Rest is history, and well, so is the relationship.
Throwing random plans on someone when they least expect them might turn someone off-guard and you might as well lose the chance of going out with the respective fling ever again.
So, plan while you can!
8. Don’t Force Your Opinion on Someone
Let the winds dance in circles in the space between you. You are you and he is he. What I mean is that you are a different individual than him. It implies that he is likely to have a different opinion than yours.
Allow him to express himself without having the fear of making you feel offended. Don’t get “butt-hurt” easily. Having a contradictory opinion isn’t a sign of disrespect. In fact, it symbolises the presence of freedom that exists in the relationship that makes him talk things out, without the fear of being judged or hurting you.
The world believes in the freedom of expression of speech. Go with the flow. Invite opinions. The contradiction is fun and enthralling. Surf along even when a difference in the opinions arises. I reckon it does wonders to strengthen the bond.
“Freedom! Freedom! Where are you?
Cause I need freedom too!”, sings Queen B. And so does he!
9. Don’t Let Anyone Mistreat You
Talking about Queen B, you are the reigning Queen of your world, too. Never ever let anyone talk you out into believing otherwise.
I’ve made a mistake of accepting the love I thought I deserved. Honestly, I deserve much better. I got into that situation because I often devalued myself. Resultantly, I ended up landing into an abusive relationship. I developed an anxiety because of it, and well, I’m still in the phase of recovery.
Please don’t make the same mistake as I did. It would only complicate things better. Value yourself because you’re worth the light of a million shining stars. Act defensively if someone mistreats you. Call the authorities and ask for help if you feel the need to.
You deserve all the goodness in the universe. Trust me, I know you do!
10. Emotions Are Valid and Genuine
We are only humans after all. We experience a wide range of feelings but often times, we choose to suffocate ourselves from suppressing them hard instead of letting them out. If you’re feeling uncomfortable, it’s your body’s way of telling you that something isn’t right. Allow your body to feel what it wants to feel.
If you’re angry or sad, don’t pretend to be happy. The heart doesn’t appreciate pretense. Same is the case is love. Do you have a crush on someone? Do you love someone but don’t have the courage to let your heart out?
Well, man up and assemble the courage for who knows? The answer might be in the affirmative.
These are a few things I’d whisper to my teenage self if time allowed me to take a reverse gear and time-travel in the past. But “oh noes”! That can’t be done.
However, I see a reflection of my younger self in you. I’d rather you follow my advice and increase your wisdom quotient. Follow the Dos and refrain from practicing the Don’ts.
And in case you need another word of advice, you know where to find me.
Stay blessed! Adieu!