Love is supposed to drain away all the negativity and loneliness out of our lives. We try every single thing possible under the shades of the blue sky to win their heart over, win their trust over, and win them over. But sometimes, the efforts only seem lopsided.
Sometimes, there’s this idea piling at the top of our head indicating that they aren’t who they pretend to be. It appears as if they’re hiding behind a balaclava.
We feel as if our emotions are being devalued. Our heart tries to signal towards something but we neglect it and try to feel better, only to end up being hurt eventually.
As hurtful as it may sound, we all get used or tend to use someone, knowingly or unknowingly (which wholly depends on our initial intentions), at least once in our lives. When it comes to the game of hearts, there is no innocent one in that game of two.
Ugh! I’m so sick of such kind of men! Do you feel the same way?
Are you utterly baffled about whether he loves you or is just playing with you? I am here to clear out your confusion, for this article is just for you.
Ever heard of PLAYERS, ladies? That’s them! (Please, for goodness sake, don’t come to a conclusion that I’m a man-hater. My opinions are merely based on personal experiences)!
Anyways, have you been wondering if the man you’re currently seeing is a Player and is using you just to satisfy his needs?
If so, I have a list of 10 crucial signs that will tell you spot-on if they’re effing with you.
Make sure that you neglect none and please do lean on!
Table of Contents (Quick Navigation)
- 1. He Only Talks about “the Deed”
- 2. He Doesn’t Want You to Meet Anyone Special in His Life
- 3. He Never Wants to Pay for Anything
- 4. You Have a Gut-feeling That He Is Using You
- 5. He Never Replies to Your Phone Calls/Texts
- 6. You’re Always Talking or Meeting up as per His Convenience/Terms
- 7. You Are Casually Hooking up but Your Relationship Doesn’t Have a Label
- 8. He Forces a Relationship with You When You Try to Move on with Someone Else
- 9. He Disappears for Months and Hits You up Months Later
- 10. He Never Wants to Go out with You
1. He Only Talks about “the Deed”
How to know if he’s using you?
He doesn’t care if you’re starving or your child is crying, or you’re having a bad day. He doesn’t even bother to ask or care about what and how you’re doing.
He never comes up with the idea of a romantic meet-up.
If anything, he is just interested in having sex, whenever, wherever!
Also, if you’re in an online relationship or what they call to be a virtual relationship, he constantly asks you to send your pictures.
“He may be asking for a decent picture.”, you might say. Well, since you’re already dating, you might as well be connected to all social networks, be it Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat. That’s where you post thousands and thousands of pictures. He could see them from there. Don’t you think?
That “Send me a pic” message implies that he is asking for some nudes and pressurizing you to flash your assets. If you’re just about to hit the SEND button, then stop and question yourself with a “What am I doing?” first.
These conducts or let’s say, misconducts are screaming out loud that he is a F*ckBoy and he is effing with you for sure!
2. He Doesn’t Want You to Meet Anyone Special in His Life
He seems to be preaching about things, has you from the start, sugarcoats stuff and pretends to be the nicest of them all. But something seems to cut off the wire in your heart because it doesn’t seem to be Picture Perfect at all.
Regardless of how nice he might try to act, he seems to not want other people in his life to know you. At times, it might even look as if he is embarrassed by you or of being seen around with you.
You might not get a text from him until the eleventh hour of the night asking for a random hook-up. You might only receive his phone calls when the sun goes down.
If that’s the case, remember girls, anything said or done or asked after 12 is a “booty-call” and sadly, he is playing with your heart and apparently, with your body too.
3. He Never Wants to Pay for Anything
Since we are the 21st Century Women, we like leading an independent life. Of them all, we enjoy our financial independence. But sometimes, when a man shows a lovable and adorable gesture by caring to pay for something that we need, then it makes us feel special. We feel loved.
But some 21st Century Men act like a complete menace.
We have to take care of all their finances, even the tiniest ones like paying their Car- parking bills.
Whether it be eating at a restaurant, or buying a piece of clothing, he is always asking for your help.
The case is different if he genuinely needs it but asking someone else to pay for every single thing is insanely crazy.
Ladies, it’s time to sing the JLo anthem Ain’t your mama and move on in life, because he, for sure, is using you for his own benefits.
4. You Have a Gut-feeling That He Is Using You
Remember the times when you were intuitive of someone being a crazy bitch and that’s exactly how they turned out to be? See, intuitions aren’t deceitful at all.
The entirety of humanity would let you down but gut-feeling would never do so.
Even after all this time of being in a “relationship”, you still have the unanswered voice in your head telling you that you’re being played with, then it might be so.
The voice might get louder every day and your core might start churning with dread.
If it’s relatable to you, trust your intuitions and move on! Who knows? Could he be a psycho planning to use you and then rip your heart out? Sounds scary!
5. He Never Replies to Your Phone Calls/Texts
To begin with, the points that I’m about to mention won’t stand valid if he is genuinely busy and you are aware of his schedule.
But in all other cases, have you been saying Hello from the other side and he doesn’t seem to answer in forever?
However, in the meanwhile, he might be posting a status on Facebook, pictures on Instagram or sending tweets on Twitter, but doesn’t write or call you back. Girls, take it as a ginormous hint.
Sometimes, we feel devoid of love and some random guy comes and starts feeding us with all the things we want to hear. We tend to buy his BS. We become naïve and we seek for attention and love, but in that process, we seem to ignore the fact that we are being used or abused, physically or emotionally, or both.
Even if loneliness is your biggest fear, pick your head up, put your pride aside and step out of it.
You’re better off without him.
6. You’re Always Talking or Meeting up as per His Convenience/Terms
As previously mentioned, move to the next point if he has a set schedule that you are aware of, and he is fiercely busy.
Well, it all seems so Love-ish until after some time, you start feeling as if you are doing everything possible to keep up with him but he seems to be a reckless asshat.
You might come into believing that you are the only person who does him favors but he never seems to care about you. It’s not that you even need the favor, but who minds getting the extra care and attention?
There might come a point when you start wondering that he is never supportive of you when you are feeling low. It may look as if he doesn’t care at all about how you’re doing.
Even friends ask friends if they’re doing well. He is much more than that but he doesn’t seem to mentally support you AT ALL.
If you are going through a similar situation, keep your self-worth pretty darn high and ask him to shove his reckless attitude up right up his.. (you know where!)
7. You Are Casually Hooking up but Your Relationship Doesn’t Have a Label
How simple and EZ PZ would things look if they termed your relationship as a relationship, instead of drawing back every time when the topic comes, and making it look like a RELATIONSHIT!
Is he one of the kinds to flinch back when you put up a “What are we?” question on his table?
He might start rambling or stuttering, or even worse, might start beating about the bush.
He might hit you with a “Let’s go with the flow” statement every time the topic comes up.
Girls, if you are not getting a clear-cut answer, then it’s time to step out from the chains of the demon. Please consider my advice!
8. He Forces a Relationship with You When You Try to Move on with Someone Else
You know how some men come up with a “You’re mine but I’m not yours. Got that?” sort of behavior? Well, actions do speak louder than words.
He might neglect you the entire time whilst you’re with him but might seem to pull off a different stunt when you try to move on with somebody else.
Well, he might initially tell you that he doesn’t want to get into a relationship with you, but then later try to persuade you into not moving on. He might even go on rambling about how attached he thinks he is to you. That’s where things seem to be messed up.
Or else, you might try to move on because of the missing label in your affair, but then he tries to randomly flirt with you making it even harder to move on. It’s clear that he is stringing you along.
Well, how about hitting him up instead with an “If you don’t want me, let me go and please kindly piss off. Thank you very much!” statement?
9. He Disappears for Months and Hits You up Months Later
If he goes missing for ages and ages after, he pops up randomly telling that he misses you, then you’d be naïve not to smell something fishy in his intentions.
It’s likely that he might have been eyeing on someone else all the while but then they rejected him. So, he might have come back to find a replacement for you.
You might have gotten enraged because of his actions and might have conveyed the message to him. He might apologize and put up a changed behavioral display for a while, but then soon after, he starts acting like the same old jerk again. What a doltish stranger!
Don’t trust him ever again, girls. You are a bomb ass person. Don’t let anyone question your self- worth.
10. He Never Wants to Go out with You
You might sneak into his house or he might into yours. The cycle might seem to be endless.
Has it appeared that he never comes up with any other plan? You either fall asleep being bored to death or you lay around the house all day doing absolutely nothing.
Do you really think someone can be unromantic to that extent?
Oh, please! Even the most unromantic person on earth would get bored to the core laying around behind the closed doors all day long and insist upon going out.
It’s not that he is busier than some President of Murica to not have some spare time in his calendar EVER to ask you out.
Girls, could it be any more obvious? He is certainly playing you like a fiddle. He wants to keep his options open.
My verdict? Opt out when you can!
There’s no limit to how much is too much. But when it seems as if your heart and mind are about to explode just about at the same time, it’s probably high time you threw a jibe at him and hit him where it matters.
You are a human. Humans aren’t playthings to be used or played with.
Don’t let any man nudge you into the oblivion and make you feel otherwise. Do take care!