Dating in the 21st century doesn’t require an ardent effort. A few scrolls up and down, and a swipe to the right, and then you’re good to go. You’ll land a date and quite conveniently, you can have an episode of Netflix and chill without having to see each other ever again.
But relationships don’t work that way. If only a simple swipe to the right would help everyone settle, then everyone would opt for that way. Quite surprisingly, most people at a certain point in their life crave for something real, something that would help them define who they are, someone who could love them right from the core of their soul, and someone who they could love back.
Relationship is everything minus simple, easy and convenient. It takes a wholesome of efforts from both the ends. The rainbows and butterflies are likely to transform into thorns and needles at a certain point, and that’s exactly when your relationship gets tested.
There are several truths about relationships, the recital of which could set one out of their comfort zone.
Just so you could introspect a little, I have compiled a list of 5 uncomfortable truths that everyone secretly accept but often recoil when inquired about it and more often than not, don’t let it out in the air.
Let’s continue with the listicle!
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1. We Expect a Lot from Other People
The concept of perfection is flawed. We often label ourselves to be the preachers of perfectionism but there’s always a fine line between striving for perfection and being perfect. Regardless of whatever amount of effort you put in, you’ll never be a perfect being. Things will go wrong once a while. Plans will not be implemented and executed as they were intended to be, and that’s what keeps us from being perfect.
Setting dating standards is absolutely alright. But for how long do you hope to keep looking for the illusory “Mr. Perfect” and be single forever whilst there’s an entire pool of suitable candidates dying to go out with you?
You can keep looking and feeding the BS about why you don’t like anyone just because they don’t meet up to your standards but practising that principle would imply that you’re digging a hole of loneliness.
So, unless you want to be mocked for being single or intend to be the subject of “We all have that single friend” meme, get back in the market and start dating, keeping your standards to a 90% maybe but hey, not one hundred percent. Aren’t I good at negotiating? You bet, yeah!
2. Things Will Not Turn out the Way You Pictured Them to Be
Ladies, I hate to break it to you but you aren’t going to end up marrying your celebrity crush. I drool over Alex Turner every single day and I get jealous when I see him with his girlfriend.
But there’s this one thing that I never admit to any of my friends or even myself that Alex isn’t even aware that I exist. And somewhere in the future, he will tie the knots with someone who is not me. So, should I cry my heart out then? No way! I won’t ruin my mascara. Sorry, Alex!
How often in life have things been exactly the same as you pictured them to be? Never, I assume? So, what makes you think that someone will cast a magic spell and make you dreams about having a picture perfect partner and a picture perfect relationship be a part of your reality?
In the conquest of our idea of a fantasy land, we could be letting some of the grandest opportunities of being happy with someone else slide by. So, look around. Stay grounded and keep your feet in the real world because that’s where life happens.
3. You Have to Leave Your Past Behind You
I am an avid reader and I remember reading somewhere that past is an illusion and so is the future. What life really stands for is the present.
The present day world is fiercely busy. The hectic work-life and a tiresome academic life takes our stress levels to its peak. And to alleviate the adrenalin rush even further, we brood over all the relationship mistakes that we’ve made in the past. That not only messes up with our mental stability but also makes us prone to never getting back in the dating game over again.
As the tides flow and the waves roll, so does life and so must we. There is nothing stored in the past apart from the lessons learnt from it. Despite whatever happened and how worse it might have been, you’ve left it in the past for good now and there’s no use leaning further back into it.
Therefore, I’d suggest you to move on in life and explore the glory that it withholds.
4. Actions Speak Louder than Words
As cliched as it might sound, an action does speak louder than a word. No amount of words shall be able to weigh in more than the exact amount of act put into play to prove one’s intentions.
You can talk about caressing someone and showering them with all the love contained in your heart but if you treat them like trash, then your words will not factor in.
So, say what you mean to say and give your words a life.
5. Be Happy with Yourself
One of the essential prerequisites of living a life that shines through a broad spectrum of positivity and happiness is being at peace with oneself.
It’s important to recognise the vitality of self-love and happiness. Relationship is about give and take, the entirety of which is selfless.
You can only give what you have, like a burning candle emits the glorious light whilst the unignited one of the same kind sits still in darkness holding mere nothingness.
Life is full of compromises and uncomfortable situations. But as we grow and evolve as humans, we learn to adjust to them and act in the way that best suits the situation.
So shall you do, dear readers. Shine bright!